Ok, well if I was to say this to you what would your automatic response be? probs 'oh you're goin on a diet' or 'cool, you're gonna try and sort your head out'
Well yes...... and yes
BUT, also over the last few nights its really been nagging me at night just exactly how i define myself, so yes this year I'm gonna try and discover some sort of definition of me, so literally a NEW me
If you've been reading my little journey on here you will ave read my gender blog, this is what I wanna focus on over the next year, this is whats been nagging at me again as I feel my happiness could well depend on knowing where I am as a person, emotionally and physically
This coming year I will focus on losing weight, hopefully getting a body I can feel fairly happy with, mix this with sorting out gender issues and psychosis issues, by the end of the year I plan on being a 'new' me
If you've read my other blog, you will know i don't really see myself as being masculine.
Rite now, at this precise moment I see myself as being born male, with male appearance, but not identifying as either male or female, this term is known as 'non-binary' ie neither a 1 or a 0/m or f and so on, it can also be shortened to enbie/enby, or even NB. I do no wish to be female, but the thought of being a male and doing male things somewhat makes me cringe
In my other gender blog i use the imagery of Marilyn Mansons 'alien' from mechanical animals, I still see myself this way, tho perhaps not as much hair and less boobage
I hope people can understand where I'm coming from with this, it wont/doesnt change my personality, just my happiness levels,
I'm not doing this to try and get a girlfriend or a boyfriend or even a trans partner, if anything I believe I should be alone in this world, almost not connecting or interacting with it
Anyway enough of my confusing thoughts, I just wanted to get this off my chest, and I havn't done a blog in like a month, hahaha