Mental health.... an insiders job

A long time ago (well 1987) in a galaxy far far away....... there was a mum dad son and 2 daughters..... this is my family, or atleast it was until 1989, when something major happened. My dad died, Tbh I cant remember much about that time, other then not crying or mourning at all, years later I'v realised this was a mistake (dont get me wrong i couldn't help not crying, I just don't show emotions very well) it didn't really hit me till I was about 16, or atleast that's when m